LeAnne Martin
Beauty and the Beholder

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Marking Grief

Just a quick note to say thank you to Peg Phifer over at Writer to Reader for the special recognition award for Beauty and the Beholder. Here's what she says:

I try to find unique content that touches me, blesses me, or even challenges me. Yours was a warm and inviting place to spend a few minutes. Thank you for that.

You can read the feature here.

The other day, my friend, Nancy Ring, had an interesting post on her blog, Anchors, Signposts, and Wanderings, about creative ways to mark grief. She asked: "Is there a loss in your life that you would like to honor by creating something? What would you create?"

This is not something I created, but it's a created thing that I shared. At each house where I've lived, I've planted a tree in memory of my first baby and in honor of my second baby, who is now nine years old. It's a wonderful feeling to plant and nurture a beautiful thing for such a purpose--reminders of how precious life is and what a gift our loves ones are.

The first trees were pink cherries. The second pair at the second house were pink dogwoods. They were all beautiful and they bloomed early, reminding me that winter was over and spring was arriving. An ongoing metaphor for my life at the time.

I haven't planted trees at our current house yet, because we want to make a landscape plan first. We will do it, though. Maybe this year?


Brenda Leyland said...

LeAnne, I popped over to Nancy's site and left a message about creative ways to mark grief. (I almost forgot to come back and leave you a comment too!)

As I mention on her site, I created a small scrapbook after my dad went home to heaven,using some of my favourite pictures of him. It was such a precious and healing time as I poured my heart and soul into it.

Your tree idea is beautiful too. A wonderful, long lasting tribute to someone you love.

Crystal Laine Miller said...

Sometimes it takes me awhile to absorb what you write here.

In my(Imy) mother-in-law's old church to which she belonged, they had a tradition to honor mothers on Mother's Day and include everyone--red carnations for those whose mother lived; white carnations for those whose mother had died.

Imy said that she hated Mother's Day at church as she dreaded the day she would have to take the white carnation instead of the red. I'm sure the organizers were just trying to mark the occasion with honor, but it became a place of "grief" for at least one person, long before the real grief occasion happened!

LeAnne Benfield Martin said...

Cris, I would not have thought of that but it does make sense that some people would be affected by it. Church on Mother's Day is hard for a lot of people. I was oblivious to all of that until I lost my baby. Now I know tons of women who dread that day. It's meant to be a happy, celebratory thing but so often is not.

Thanks for reading,


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